Home, Personality and Appearance:

Actually accomplish half the goals on this list
Develop a better relationship with my little sisters
Begin speaking Spanish to Hispanic peoples
Learn to salsa
Learn to bachata
Learn to waltz
Attend a school event
Go to a non-familial party
Build a household routine by the day: Monday- Dusting/vacuuming
      Tuesday- Bathroom
      Wednesday- Trash day
      Thursday- Baking
      Friday- General organization
      Saturday- Laundry
Write those essays that float around in my head-at least six of them
Straighten car once per week
Clean car every other month
Stay up to date and track car maintenance
Be unafraid to ask for help when I need it
Keep up with car preps and maintenance
Stay up to date with my eyebrows
Build a better relationship with Dad

School-Related:

Acquire and learn from Rosetta Stone
Pass all classes with a B

Religious:

Become a catechumen and enter the Church
Study 12 books of the Bible in depth:
Regularly give tithes and offerings

Herbalism and Eatery:

Regularly use daily infusions
Create an herbal brew (oil, vinegar, etc.) at least once a month
Experiment with salves and lip balms
Learn to make lozenges
Study 12 plants in depth, one for each month:  Cinnamon
      Violet
      Rose
      Sage
      Plantain
      Marshmallow
      Dandelion
      Elder                               Calendula
      Burdock
      Blackberry and Raspberry
      Chickweed
Go wildcrafting at least every other month
Make at least one kind of wine
Get a complete herbal medical kit set up
Give a beginner’s herb class
Maintain a spring to autumn garden organically
Try to eat more locally, seasonally, and organically
Begin growing sprouts
Make a garden calendar, stating the order of bloom, so that from April to September there is a flower for each week
Use almanac to plant by the signs
Learn to make one kind of cheese besides yogurt cheese
Make a chocolate pie from scratch
Take the 100 mile challenge
Do at least half of Nourishing Traditions
Attend herb classes
Perfect my homemade shampoo

Finances:

Keep track of my finances on a daily basis
Begin selling handicrafts online by the end of February
Consistently earn $800 a month
Cut debt in half- credit card
   owe Pete for car repair
   cell phone bill
   keep up with insurance and rent payments

Defense:

Set up a car survival kit
Set up a home survival kit
Become familiar with a particular handgun
Purchase a handgun
Take and pass the test for concealed carry
Shoot as well as Jena
Take a self defense class
Work through Dad’s self defense videos
Become comfortable with my knife and practice whipping it out
Learn to change the oil
Learn to change a tire

Good Skills:

Learn how to work and fix my sewing machine
Sew a complete outfit for myself
Tame a free wild animal so that it will come when called
Learn to knit and crochet
Figure out why my candles aren’t burning correctly and address the issue
Make an oil lamp
Make a pair of shoes
Identify 25 native birds in the wild
Identify 25 birds by song
Identify 8 species of bees, wasps, or ants and identify distinguishing characteristics of each
Go camping (sissy camping allowed
Make a batch of soap
Know poison ivy, sumac, oak etc. and proper treatment for these including jewelweed
Acquire an Extractor
Identify 25 kinds of trees when in leaf
Identify 15 evergreen trees
Maintain 2 bilberry bushes throughout the season
Identify 10 local species of snakes
Utilize handmade gifts for every person on my list (not necessarily my hands)
Walk one mile in 15 minutes
Get in shape
Go horseback riding
Point out and name 10 principal constellations
Tell the hour of night by the stars and the moon
Identify 10 kinds of animal tracks from the wild
Make a decision about a birth career
Publish a poem

Etcetera:

Attend a Highland Games
Attend a Renaissance Faire
Spend a complete day “in-accent”
Finish Behind Door Number Two, including revisions/editing
Dance in the rain
Go streaking
Stay up to watch the sun rise
Stalk someone in Wal-Mart
Go out dancing
Play a prank on a telemarketer
Learn to start a fire without modern conveniences
Make those recordings of Nana and Papa
Scrapbook a layout per month

A real man seems to be very hard to find these days–even the fellow I am dating I can’t classify as one! My ruminations on the subject have led me to quickly compose this essay, intertwined with which my own ideals on the matter are given. Please comment so that I can revise and edit this to reflect other facets of a real man or to clarify anything which may have been misconstrued.

1. Real men have ethical and moral standards. They treat others as they wish to be treated, and as they have a healthy self esteem, they want themselves to be treated well. These are men who take responsibility for their actions; they are kind, loyal, honest, prompt, and etc. down the list of virtues.

2. Real men treat women, children, and animals with respect. Here in the south, we still like our men to be chivalrous and to treat women like ladies. But more importantly in this number, we recognize that abusers are not real men!

3. Real men search for Truth. These are men who don’t accept things just because someone told them so, but seek out the Truth for themselves. These men may be very solid in their faith, or their lack of faith, and sometimes they may not even know what sort of faith they want, they just know that they are looking for something. When they find it, they may realize that in order to defend it they must leave family, friends, and lifestyles behind–but real men stand up for their beliefs even when they are afraid. (My preference, of course, is for Orthodox Christian men, and then other Christian men.)

4. Real men take care of their physical body. No, I don’t mean that they all look like bodybuilders from working out seven days a week, but they don’t have rolls of fat, either. Real men try to eat healthy and get enough excercise, and they don’t abuse any types of drugs or alcohol. (Personally, I like a man who either has a six pack or a hint of one, but doesn’t have muscles on top of muscles!)

5. Real men seek gainful employment or self-employment. As a future business owner myself, I think that it is great when a man wants to make his own way instead of working for someone else. But the important thing here is that the man doesn’t want hand outs from government agencies or relatives. He wants to work hard to support his family.

6. Real men make time for their families. Working hard is great, but a real man knows that the most important thing is family and loved ones. He balances out work, personal interests, and family time so that they never get the short stick.

7. Real men speak up. The whole idea that a man needs to hide his true feelings or thoughts is complete and utter rubbish. Women are not mind readers any more than men are. When men have a problem, they need to speak up about it. When they are happy, it is not stupid to announce it. Also, a real man doesn’t hide behind being a man as an excuse for not communicating with his loved ones.

8. Real men cry when appropriate. It takes a strong man to show such depth of emotion.

9. Real men have faults, but they try to seek them out and overcome them. Everyone has faults. Some people talk without thinking. Others have too much pride. Some men are passive aggressive. Having faults is human, but improving yourself is the mark of a real man.

10. Real men are intelligent. They don’t have to all have PhD.s or some such nonsense. But they do try to improve their minds, even if it’s not through books. This includes keeping abreast of politics, current events, one’s trade or profession, etc. Obviously, allowances can be made for men who may mental handicaps, etc.

So there you have it–my theory on what a true man is. As stated before, this was quickly written and not edited. I’ll probably do revisions later.

I must admit I do relish it.  Tonight I have fall and winter clothes mixed in with my regular clothes in the wash, so that I can start wearing long sleeves and cardigans again.  I don’t have very many clothes–more than many, but I normally wear the same things over and over again and it’s a pleasure to look a little different in the changing of the seasons. 

I’ve moved into my own apartment and I’ve never felt such peace, if a little lonely at times.  But then, I felt lonely at my mother’s house, so it is a blessing to be lonely in whatever fashion you please if you are to be lonely at all.  At present my rooms are quite messy as I’ve been feeling under the weather for quite a long time, off and on and currently on, but I do want to post up pictures.  I’ve still got to get curtains, but as I quit my job mainly due to the chemical sensitivity issues I was having, I don’t think i can quite afford to get the supplies I need until I find other work (which I don’t want to have, of course, but such is life). I also need to figure out how to make the walls less bleak.  They are that nasty spray painted white, which isn’t a stark white that one can work with satisfactorally, but a dingy white that one needs must think of how to circumvent.  Anyway, I shall post pictures when I’ve cleaned a bit and then I will update as I make everything look a bit cosier, and surely it will, even if a little at a time.  I’ve got such plans!

I love going to college.  With autumn here it really feels like a school time again.  My professors are all quite agreeable, and my classmates okay… I never tend to fit in, you know. 

Currently I have an obsession with Pride and Prejudice-I need to find a decent copy of the 1995 movie version with Colin Firth, but I have the 2005 version in the cd drive right now, and I’ve watched ‘Lost in Austen’ on Youtube and found it quite terrific!  I even dreamed of Mr. Darcy last night, though I must admit he was rather out of place as a wrestler named Fitzwilliam Darcy.  <sigh>  I wish I could find a Mr. Darcy.  I must admit, that though I need clear communication in order to be happy (which is not what I have with my current boyfriend) I’ve been ruminating on the strong, silent type–and it is my opinion that if one actually is strong, and is maybe a bit too silent in public but doesn’t mind some deepness in speech in private, then there is no complaint to be had.  The problem comes where the man is both silent and not strong.  Just my two cents worth, anyway.

Chocolate Mint Mousse
Rustic Pasta Noodles
Cinnamon Honey Ice Cream
Salsa
Mulled Wine
Chicken Nuggets

Well, the bread is out of the oven and I must go slather on some blackberry jam!

The problem is Mum.  Or more accurately, Mom and I seem to be butting heads alot recently, and I don’t understand how I am as mean as she thinks I am. 

When I was doing the vacation thing with Gary’s family (which went pretty good, actually. I was really stressed and worried about it!) , it had to have been our combined fatigue that made things just go crash!bang!explode!  when I got home at night on July 2nd.  Right? I was tired, all I wanted to do was go home to bed.  She wanted a coffee, but I overshot where I was supposed to go and ended up having to go about 15 minutes total out of the way for it.  That wouldn’t have been bad, but she told me to pick up something for Haley, too and that set me over the edge.  That’s the way it is with me-I’m fine, keeping it together, and then something very little just barely tips the scale and I lose it.  I was crying in the car, grumpy and yes, resentful.  The night before that I’d also had to do something relatively late at night because no one got things straightened around the right way before. 

When I got home, I was tired, I had to pee, and I knew I was in a crappy mood so I tried avoidance.  Upstairs, I said something abruptly, trying to get to the toilet, but I didn’t think I had been mean.  Mom took offense and let me have it a few minutes later. 

I already blogged about the money stuff. 

Last night, after she had been pretty bitchy which had made me feel the same, I said something that I realized could be misinterpreted and I honestly, truly did not mean to hurt her feelings.  I apologized and even felt so bad that I made Gary take me home early! When I got home I started crying and my Uncle was there.  While he was there, Mom was alright.  When he left, she wasn’t towards me. 

Just now, I was downstairs and Mum asked me my work schedule for this week.  When learning I had Tuesday off, she said, “Oh good!” and I knew that was a sign that I could do something for her.  I asked what was happening on Tuesday and she said that she was painting the porch and I could help. 

I’ve already made plans with Gary; Tuesday may be the only day that we can get together this coming week because of our work schedules and the fact that I’m not willing to miss church next Saturday for him.  I told Mum that I had plans with Gary and she said, “Well can you cancel them?”

I like compromise.  I don’t see why I can’t do both.  I could do something with Gary at any time on Tuesday and work it around helping Mom with the porch.  I said that Tuesday may be the only day we can work out but that I wouldn’t be with him the whole day and she cut me off, saying “Forget it,” she’d “get so and so over to help her”. 

“Mom,” I started. 

“No,” she cut in, “This is important to me.”

And then there was silence; I gathered my laundry, and went upstairs. 

I’m tired of these petty things.  I know that if something is important to you, then it isn’t petty, but these arguments aren’t over big ticket things.  There isn’t compromise.  There is just… not cool stuff. 

I don’t understand why we can’t communicate.  I feel that she doesn’t respect me as an individual, or she would talk things out, compromise, communicate.  Maybe she feels that I don’t respect her authority?  Maybe she is like this because I’m going to be moving soon and she is going to have to face things differently?  We are both hormonal-she menopausal, me with long lasting PMS because I’m late-probably because of stress. And that was probably TMI.

I don’t know, but I don’t like it, and I don’t know what to do-about Tuesday or the rest of it.  If I say that I’ll cancel with Gary now, she’ll say don’t bother. She gives guilt trips out like candy. 

I want a good relationship with my mother.  I miss having one, and even though I know that I have areas to work on, I feel that I’m trying hard, but she won’t meet me in the middle.

Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to muse on this summer…. the store I work at is conversely driving me crazy and being a great place to work!  I’m saving money… but then again, I’m spending more, too.  Mostly on the same things… food, and some books (and gas of course, can’t forget that).  If I put it in the bank, I’ll spend more than I planned on, for sure.. I’m trying to go mostly cash because the ouch factor makes me not want to spend as much. 

I don’t think Mum will be pleased, though.  She’s always so excited when I say that I’m going to work…  I can’t describe the feeling I get… I don’t really like it.  I feel kinda like she’s gloating because I’m going where “someone is telling me what to do”.  Anyway, there’s no way I can save as much as she’d like to me to by the end of the month (my rent is due on August 1, I think).  And well… considering I was under the impression when we first discussed the apartment that I would have a year to save up for my four months payment, I’m ahead of the game for me.  But she thought I was paying the bulk of the money to her at the end of summer… Houston, we have a problem!  There have been times I could have brought it up so that we could discuss it all and get it all laid out, but honestly, I didn’t want to get into a fight.  And I know there would have been one. 

I also owe her car insurance money, but that one’s all on me… oops!  I thought I owed her a certain amount ($60, it went up from $50 a month when I got pulled over last fall) but now I’m not precisely sure and that could cause a problem.  I owe her about 6 months worth… and I’ll take all the blame from that one!  I’d like to find a way to work this out where the car insurance bill goes to me directly or a pay Mum on a certain day each month or something… to keep it on track and everything okay. 

So yeah… I’ve got change that I need to get changed to bills at the bank, stuff to sell at our yard sale on Saturday, a guitar to sell either on Craigslist or through a friend, and hopefully some more stuff to sell somewhere to help me make up the money.  I work about 20 hours a week, sometimes a few more, sometimes a few less… my birthday is coming up, but it’s at the end of August… I need to set up another cleaning day at Nana and Papa’s because that will get me another $40 if Nana is the one to pay me, lol.  I’d do it for them for free though, if they needed me to… I still haven’t been able to take the plunge to online selling, and that is bad.  Maybe tonight. 

Gotta go do dishes and run an errand…. and think more about my lovely money problems!

So far, so good! 

I meant to post new pictures from the garden tonight, but I kept forgetting it on excursions over there.  It’s been hot and dry here again recently, so I’ve been over to water and harvest, and not really much else.  That’s bad, isn’t it?  Since T and I have decided to move the garden in the fall, we’re not doing too much with it this summer.  (I did tell you that T has moved, didn’t I?  She is renting about half an hour away, and I’ll be moving there myself in the fall.  Not in with her, but in a little one bedroom apartment that will make me joyously happy, hopefully in the first week of August!) 

But about the garden.  She already has some potted things over there with her (the citrus trees, some hanging strawberries, some herbs, etc.) but we’re going to try to take as much from the old garden there as we can, including digging up the grapes and strawberries.  I think we’re planning on taking some of the dirt, and definately the fencing and the structures.  Her landlady has pretty much given her carte blanche with the house and grounds, and since T is planning on staying indefinately and possibly for several years, we’ll make it work.  I’m thinking about suggesting more things in pots, though… so that if something were to happen, they can always be moved. 

So… the garden at her property is largely overgrown and I wear boots that come up to my knees in order to enter that backyard.  Our tomatoes are doing well, even though they don’t have the support that they should have, and the canteloupes and watermelons are threatening to take over!  We have both pole and bush beans planted, but not enough of either, I don’t think…. so I may plant some more.  I’ve been harvesting lots of herbs-parsley, basil, sage, and mint.  (Tonight I drank mint tea with my tomato-basil salad!) I also plan to replant the lettuce there.  I’m still trying to figure out where to put it though.. because the hot summer will kill it or send it bolting without plenty of shade.  I’d also like to put some lettuce in a pot at my current house.  We’ll see. Mum tends to have issues with edible plants. 

Oh yes!  And our strawberries… coming along quite nicely.  I ate three of them today right off the plant.  Very nice and juicy!  They are quite small at the moment… I don’t know much about strawberry growing, I’ll admit, but I think it has something to do with it being the first crop. 

There is alot more that I’d like to say, including talking about my garlic, but that will have to wait because I am very wiped out!  And tomorrow I have to get up early so that I can spend the day with my future in-laws about an hours drive away, on their vacation.  So toodle oo! 

-Kristen

It was glorious. 

I’ve always adored summer rainfalls–the hot days cooled by the afternoon thunderstorm.  Today was no different.  As I sat, eating my tangerine before work, the wind picked up and the storm rolled in the sky was gray. I admired it out the window (while making sure, of course, that my window was closed) and delighted when the power went out. Now, I know that were the power to be out for any length of time (or if I was nowhere near being ready for work and had to work around that particular development) I would not be a happy person about it, but when the power is out for only a little while, it makes it all the more cozy and delightfully tempting to snuggle in bed, blinds pulled up, and to watch Nature at work. 

Unfortunately, I did have to go in to work-and by the time I was ready to leave in the car, the storm was over and a gentle drizzle remained.  But next time an afternoon storm rolls in, I hope that I will be off of work and can simply watch in wonder.

I started a new part time job that left me pretty tired for the first week. Who am I kidding?  I’m still pretty tired each time I work!  But thankfully I don’t get scheduled for many 8 hour shifts.  Hopefully I won’t get scheduled much for them in the future, either.  I know, I know….I plan to be a farmer, immersed in manual labor, for crying out loud.  But… it’s different when you’re not getting especially dressed and dealing with the public while doing everything your boss tells you to. 

But the job is going pretty well.  It’s definitely not bad.  My cousin’s wedding was this past Saturday and I wasn’t too much of a porker in my bridesmaids gown.  She was absolutely gorgeous, though.  It was a beautiful day

Summer is in full swing at our place with Mum and H out of school.  Mum fractured her foot and has to wear this boot thing.   I love summer, but it’s really….different…. having them home all day.  I feel more pressured. But I’m saving this summer for my apartment, so… I’m so excited and can’t wait!  And then I’m sure I’ll miss them… Lol. 

But on to the garden stuff!  Despite being rather overgrown and weedy, the garden is coming along really well.  The picture was taken today of Bed 2 at T’s house.  We have several tomatoes, peppers, 2 plants each of globe and sweet basil, canteloupes, watermelons, sage and thyme in this bed as well as chocolate and peppermint in a container beside it and a cayenne pepper in a container beside it.  This is my favorite bed… even though it’s all in a tangle of tomato limbs! 

We also have lettuce, broccoli, English peas (I think), carrots, bush beans, strawberries, lavender, echinacea, potatoes and onions growing.  I planted some scarlet runner beans last week; the pole beans I managed to plant today with some cucumbers on either side.  I haven’t checked the buckets we planted the onions and garlic in back in March? Feb?  but I assume they are doing okay. 

I want to keep track of the harvests (hard task that I’ll probably screw up on time and again, but I really want to lol), so from time to time I’m sure I’ll post it on this blog.  This is one of those times

Harvest to date from the garden at T’s (that I know of):

several heads of lettuce,
one small red onion,
several handfuls peas,
some parsley,
some globe basil,
some sweet basil,
a few sage leaves.

My garden at Nana and Papa’s is doing well, too.  I planted a four by four with pink corn, which is growing well and even though I planted the corn too close together, I think I’ll leave it as is and go ahead and interplant with beans.  We’ll see what happens.  The soil is pretty good there from my amendments. 

I also have harvested several spring onions, 2 heads of lettuce, and 1 bulb of garlic from it. I plan to put my pumpkins and so forth over there because I don’t think it will be too much of an issue with space there like at T’s. And I’ll probably also do sweet potatoes there as well as a few herbs.  It’s time for me to make up my mind! 

The important thing about all this gardening is what you do once you have the fresh produce, though, right?  Today has been a lovely edible garden day.  For lunch I made a tuna dip and ate it on crackers.  The recipe is really easy, and super for someone who may not like tuna so much.  You just take a handful of parsley (garden fresh, of course!) and kind of chop it up fine.  Add a can of tuna packed in water, maybe a teaspoon of olive oil, some capers (the little bitty kind, not the larger ones), juice of a lemon, and a sprinkle of salt and pepper and you are good to go!  Mash it all up and serve on crackers. You don’t have to be really strict with the measurements, either–just do it to taste, and it will be fine.  I don’t like mine really runny with juice, but not dry, either.

For tonight, I made a taco salad, a fruit salad, and a cucumber salad. In the taco salad I used my own lettuce, garlic in the meat (and homemade taco seasoning), and a little bit of parsley (leftover from the tuna) and basil in with the lettuce.  The cucumber salad featured my own onions and the cuc’s were from Papa’s garden.  The recipe for the fruit salad, though, is the one that really counts…

Take about six nectarines and cut up into slices.  Combine with a pint of blackberries (we used a local mix of blackberries and mayberries).  In a separate bowl, get three tablespoons of lime juice (for me it was 1 and a half limes, but I’d measure it out-more juice is okay) and add to it 2 tablespoons finely chopped crystallized ginger (it’s kind of expensive and is found in the spices section).  Stir in 1 tablespoon sugar until it dissolves, then pour the lime juice mixture on top of fruit and toss it around to coat evenly.  Chill and serve.  It is soooo delicious!  T served it to me for dinner when I went to check out her new house (long story for another post; she is renting a house about half an hour away, but the garden is at the one she owns) and I’ve been thinking about it ever since, so of course I made it for dinner tonight when we had a guest.